[kcdc 2022] 4 deadly sins of mentorship

Speaker: Christina Aldan @luckygirliegirl

For more, see the table of contents


  • “Experiences re the sum total of who we are, but not of what we can become” – Christina’s first mentor
  • Pass on experience
  • Doesn’t need to be older, just needs to have an experience to share
  • Results legaycc, relevancy, avoiding mistakes, honest feebck, long lasting friendship, employee retention, strenthen teams
  • Teach: work experience, new hires, resource suggestions, skill building, networking tips, how to give/receive feedback
  • Helps mentor – stay relevant, emotional intelligence, expand network, reinforce skills, is fulfilling
  • Idea: mentor monday’s – start on happy note
  • Helps mentee – gain practical advice, emotional intellingence, expand network, improve communication, get direction/focus
  • Mentoring is not making a copy of yourself. Learn from a variety of diverse people and pick what relevant to you.

Arranging mentoring

  • Can be any duration. ex: coffee once a quarter
  • Can reach out to someone you follow online and ask to discuss experience.
  • 7 minutes is a specific time limit. 5 minutes sounds like an owner. will probably renew another time
  • https://www.polywork.com has less noise than linked in
  • Measurable, finiite, clear on want help with, mentor knows that that mentor,
  • Ok to be ongoing if still set goals and be intentional.

Emotional Intelligence

  • Awareness of self – needed for empathy. Improve by naming emotions more specificallly
  • Management of self
  • Awareness of others
  • Management of others
  • Neuroplasticity – can make new connections. As soon as 5-6 hours after create new response, starts. More stimulate, the stronger the connection becomes. (thicker/more connections). If don’t stimulate neuropathway, it disolves


  • Using guilt or shame
  • Not dictatorship
  • Motivating with bribes
  • Courtesy bias – don’t want to hurt feelings. However, growth happens in discomfort

More notes

  • Tech, don’t preach
  • Guide through process
  • Mentee needs to internalize
  • Be a talent detectve to see what the mentee wants
  • Be honest while remaining kind
  • Host open hours, inlude in contractor fee, cross-dept, panel mentoring, join another team one day a month to see what do (job shadow)
  • Define boundaries, identify an dassign mentor, set a timeline
  • If no goal/end date, just fade away. Mentee wonders what’s up and mentor thinks all is fine. Reach out
  • Mentor fatigue – be aware of what you can offer. Needs to be sustainable
  • Mentee should be concise, engaged and proactive
  • Mentor – stay in lane (only there to share experiences, not a parent/therapist) set clear hours, comunicate clearly

ALGEE (for mental health)

  • Access
  • Listen
  • Give Reassurance
  • Encourage Self Care
  • Encourage professional help

My take

Christina began with a great story. I like that she did it before introducing ourself. It results in a stronger audience connection and is something I’m trying to get better about. The content was excellent and relatable. She made it interactive so we got to hear a bunch of experiences. My only complaint is the room was too small for the audience. The captioning was A LOT (10 minutes?) behind. It started late so don’t think anyone was relying on it though.

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