On the one hand, at a certain level everyone is expected to be able to speak for themselves and not require hand-holding. On the other, the manager/supervisor/technical lead/moderator can easily create an environment where even the most shy and introverted person feels comfortable sharing their opinions. e.g. When a new question or subject is brought up, go around the group and give everyone 15 uninterrupted seconds to give their opinion. Obviously that one hint isn’t the full extent of how to run a meeting, but I hope you see what I’m saying.

Andrew: Yes. in the US, women are brought up to be quieter. Not as much in Asia, but still quieter than boys. You are rewarded for being a “good girl” and not causing trouble. There’s also the problem that it’s a lot of effort to “speak over the guys” when they are speaking loudly. On my team, I raise my hand high when that happens. My team respects me enough that they will give me the floor when I do that.

When talking to developers whom I admire, a common theme seems to arise: they code for fun (or, at least, used to – some have since given up on coding in their spare time). Many of them (not all) also started young. I don’t think this is coincidence – if you are passionate enough about coding to do it as a “fun” activity, then that passion will also follow into your work life. But for those of whom coding is a “chore” that is only done when being paid for it, then the chances are good that they will end up being a code monkey.

The whole confidence aspect is interesting – I’ve also noticed that Americans tend to favor the loudest voice – it is something that I have to work on, since I tend to talk quietly unless I am deliberately projecting. I would be curious to find out whether women are brought up to be “quiet / demure ladies” and therefore are not the loudest voice in the room, which would come across as lack of confidence?

Re: “I was given the advice to record what I accomplish throughout the year so I remember it when it is appraisal time” – I also heard that many years ago, and I have passed it on to many of my colleagues / employees. It is amazing how much that can do for your career when your boss is looking at a laundry list of things you’ve accomplished, versus trying to remember what your coworkers have done. 🙂